*in her head she hears Paramore*
Well, you built up a world of magic
Because your real life is tragic
Yeah, you built up a world of magic
Well, if it’s not real, you can’t hold it in your hand
You can’t feel it with your heart
And I won’t believe it, but if it’s true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh, even in the dark, and that’s where I want to be
“Chloe?” Finn asks, stuffing another slice into his mouth while surfing through the on-demand options.
Staring at her magenta blackberry, “No, June…just seeing what I was doing tonight.” Drew responds with both a hint of annoyance and regret in her voice; an obvious longing to join her girlfriends out for a night of fun laughs and amusing pictures, but a disinterest in leaving the guy at her side.
“What are those girls up to tonight?” Finn asks, without even taking a breath, as if this question has become programmed into his daily responses.
“Same as usual. They’re thinking of going to Pipa for some sangria and tapas, then maybe Brother Jimmy’s on Irving…I don’t know, they always start out one place and change their minds for the second.”
Finn notices tension in the way Drew describes their plans and normal course of action, but pushes a little more, expecting resistance and probably a bit of a fight. He cares about her and her happiness, so he pushes in spite of his better judgments.
“Well, it sounds like fun either way! You haven’t seen Tilson or June in a while! We’re always hanging out here watching movies or out with my friends, why not go meet them, at least at Pipa, you love that place!”
“I just don’t want to! God Finn, why are you pushing me to leave? Are you done hanging out with me for the night? Want some time alone…you’re in my apartment you realize!”
And there is the bickering he anticipated, he contemplates dropping the topic, like he does when not in the mood to deal with her quick defensive attitude change – but God love him, he persists anyway.
“No, Drew, stop being a brat for one second. You know very well neither those things are the case; I just don’t want to see you alienate your friends because of me, or us or whatever this is. Those girls are your life.”
“They aren’t my life anymore…I have you now. Besides, they are all single, and out to meet guys, and honestly, I don’t need to so, it’s really just not that fun for me okay?!” Drew feels the nerves standing on end and doesn’t understand or like it. She still loves partying with her girls, and she knows even though they are all single, the majority of the time they go out, it’s just the four of them. She feels the exaggeration in her veins like poison killing the friendships in her life, but it’s too late for Finn’s anti-venom to be effective.
“I can’t be the only thing in your life Drew. And whenever I’ve been out with you and the girls, none of them are exactly ‘on the prowl’! You guys usually chill at the bar chatting it up like the best friends you are and ignore everyone around. Trust me, I’m usually the one ignored!” Finn says with a little elbow nudge and smirk. Trying his best to quell the anxieties bubbling up inside the girl nestled on the couch next to him.
They’ve only been “together” “officially” for four months, but it’s Drew’s first jump into exclusivity and serious dating, so her navigation skills are still novice at best. She feels her friendships slipping and everyone’s patience thinning like pulled cotton candy; there’s almost no more hiding behind pink puffy sugar clouds; the exasperation is becoming painfully evident.
“I know. I just don’t want to tonight…I’ll go next time. I’m too tired. Do you want to watch that fight movie or whatever I’ve been refusing to watch?” Everyone knows the ‘I’m too tired’ line is often a cover for disinterest, discomfort and sometimes plain discontent, but Finn knows Drew’s willpower, and there’ll be no winning this battle tonight.
“She’s not coming; says she’s too tired.” June tells us all, pulling down the jacket we’d draped over an extra chair in hopes that she’d join us.
“Well…cheers ladies, here’s to us and our friendships, I love you guys” Chloe raises her glass of Cava Sangria, and June and I raise ours, silently, reflective and a little lost in thought.
“Cheers.” June whispers.
“Cheers…” I sigh.
Paramore -Brick By Boring Brick