Monthly Archives: February 2011

Oh, Oscar.


Growing up it was tradition for my mom and I to watch the Oscars together. Sit there like everyone else, critiquing and commenting on the gowns, the hair and the makeup. There are always the actresses who make you sit in awe of how beautiful they look, and those that leave you confused by their choices. Unfortunately this year I wasn’t able to head back home and watch the Oscars with mom, but my friend and I did not let the opportunity to watch and wonder pass us by.

I genuinely liked the majority of the dresses this year, but there were a few that left me a little unsure of how they made me feel, and one leaving me endlessly undecided.

First off, clearly this was the year of red. While some wowed, others didn’t woo so much.

Anne Hathaway had a lot of wardrobe changes as the host of the Oscars. This red vintage Valentino was my favorite. Followed in close second by this Atelier Versace maroon red piece she wore while actually hosting.

Unfortunately, Jennifer Lawrence’s Calvin Klein dress was a red one I wasn’t too fond of. It looked too much like a maxi dress many of us would throw on in the summer. A little too Pamela Anderson as C.J. Parker. Despite not loving the dress, I did think her hair and makeup looked gorgeous.

Although Scarlett Johansson’s Dolce & Gabbana gown was unique and quite stunning, her hair I was not in love with. It looked like an attempt at the bed head look Meg Ryan made famous, but ended up just looking messy and wrong for such an elegant dress.

Two dresses that left me baffled were Cate Blanchette’s odd Givenchy geometrical number and Anne Hathaway’s blue pleather looking Giorgio Armani Prive dress. I am sure Armani would never make a pleather Oscar dress, but whatever material it actually was, reminded me of costumes I saw made for Comic-con. Cate Blanchette of course looked gorgeous regardless of her dress, and I think from the waist down it was lovely, but the oval cut out in the center just felt a little too space-shippy for me.

Of course there were tons of other dresses that were hits and misses, some gorgeous jewels and beautiful makeup and hair. Amy Adams’ sapphire blue L’Wren Scott dress, I found quite stunning (without the awkward green bauble that didn’t match the flow of the dress). Michelle Williams looked dazzling and demure in her white pearl-beaded Chanel Haute Couture dress. Then of course, there’s my ‘female crush’ Mandy Moore in her sparkly nude hued Monique Lhuillier. Although, the blush might have been a bit too much, the dress was angelic.

Before I mention the dress that left me so perplexed, I must mention the shoes that I cannot stop thinking about; wishing money did really grow on trees and I could buy these instantly. The custom-made Swarovski crystal, individually hand studded, Brian Atwood pumps. I am in love.

Last but not least is the dress that left me so indecisive I cannot put it in a love or hate category. It is Mila Kunis’ much talked about lavender Elie Saab gown. I loved the draping, the color and the lacy skirt. What I cannot wrap an opinion around is the lace detailing at her cleavage. It kept reminding me of those petal things or lingerie accidentally sticking out of the dress like a fashion faux pas. I felt it distracted from the rest of the dress and how striking her hair and makeup looked. In the end, I think I like it. I think…

This year was definitely a pleasant surprise, no more swans, iridescent rainbows, backwards suits or see-through goth numbers. There’s always next year!

Bills Bills Bills – By The Glee Cast

I’m The One Who Likes Gardenia – Book pt2


      1. Tilson
        **Her iPod is playing Mandy Moore**
        Well, I hear my own voice sounds so silly
        Keep on telling my story all around
        Everything I lost seems so different
        Well, this is how everybody gets found
        I’m the one who likes Gardenia
        I’m the one who likes to make love on the floor
        And I don’t wanna hang up the phone yet
        It’s been good getting to know me more

516-555-6777, I hate seeing a doctor’s number on my cell, especially one I just saw for a routine exam. Always hoping it’s a benign call to go along with all the benign cells that may or may not be brewing inside each of us. Thank god we have trivia tonight. I need to not focus on this for a little.

You should know I fear the big “C” word. Yes, most people fear the big c word and are concerned, weary, fighting against it…but for me, it’s a deeper, belly ache fear. Losing my dad to it, it’s safe to say it can destroy a person. Most complications that have surfaced in my life and many of those I love have stemmed from the internal bleeding which has yet to be stopped. A ruptured aorta bound to kill us if someone doesn’t plug the hole.

The anxiety is wrecking havoc on my insides, and I can’t help but be petrified of my voicemail. Chloe tells me of the time they had to do a biopsy of her cervix to see if some spots were high risk or not. High risk, why not just say CANCEROUS. Sugar coated, everyone wants to sugar coat life. But life is bitter and it’s sweet, and when it comes to our health, there’s rarely a bitter sweet result. “Were they?” I ask, anxiously. “No” Chloe says, “After the 2nd follow-up, they were gone entirely.” June orders another Guinness. She’s as disinclined to deal with medical things as I am. She’d rather not know half the time than deal with the possible results.

“Sometimes called the green fairy, what Bohemian spirit, containing the psychoactive chemical thujone was banned in the US for 95 years, until recent re-legalization of a diluted version?”

“OH I KNOW THIS!” I shout – “Absinth you guys!” The girls stare at me. “Why in god’s name do you know that” Drew judges. “I don’t know. You know I’m filled with useless knowledge…also what other things were banned from the states and recently legalized?” I snap back.

“The answer is – Absinth.”

I was right. Point for Tilson.

“Having a similar name but totally different beliefs, what famous science fiction writer founded the Church of Scientology 56 years ago as an incorporated business in Camden, NJ?”

“It’s L. Ron Hubbard” I say with confidence. “You know that he famously wrote, ‘the best way to get rich is to invent a religion’?’ “Tilson, you’re such a dork” Chloe laughs, thankfully we were right again, my nerdy-ness pays off. I personally like to think of this as a worthy trait. I know useless information. A testament to the fact that I’m not a dumb blonde blindly bumbling through life. Although, sometimes I’d welcome the ignorant bliss it’d bring.

“And the results of tonight’s Trivia Tryst, in third place Team Bloody Brits!”

“Sweet, I thought we were going to be third! Maybe we did win!” June gets so excited.

“In second place – Team Bryce Rules!”

“Oh man, but 2nd is good!” Chloe says, always the positive thinker. “Do we get anything for 2nd place?” Drew asks. June suggests we con Bryce into giving us some sort of gift certificate. This venue doesn’t do anything for the 2nd placers unfortunately for us. But since we know the host we get free shots.

“Guys, I cannot do shots tonight, I’ll be a mess for work tomorrow…we’ve already had a couple of pitchers” Drew moans, but we all definitely agree. We’ve had enough beer and really just wanted a bit off our tab for tonight – such is life; we pass our shots to the 3rd place team, hug our humble host and head to our separate areas of the city.

“Are you taking a cab downtown?” Chloe asks me. I live on the Lower East Side, she lives in the West Village; color me confused…sharing a cab is not processing as logical. “I am, but does that really make any sense to share a cab?” I quizzically nudge, right before I realize I already know the answer to that question.

As I should have suspected – “I’m going to Gavin’s. He just bbm’ed me, asked if I wanted to come over…” I am too tired and a bit too tipsy to care right now; I can’t argue with her, it’s a futile battle. So we share a cab, and off she goes.

Rumour Has It – Adele

Fortune For Keeps


In the almost two years my office has been at this location, I’ve (probably unwisely) eaten my fair share of Chinese food. Throughout those sodium filled meals, I’ve kept the fortune filled cookies I read and thought “huh, this one I’ll keep”.

Today I noticed only 3 little strips of paper made the cut. Maybe the cookie stuffers need to work on their proverbial sayings or maybe I’m a cynical New Yorker unmoved by small sentiments…let’s say the former!

Regardless of my reasons for selectivity, today – I added the fourth and I think, my favorite ‘fortune’ of all. It actually made me take a beat and think. So I decided to share:

1. Your dreams are never silly; depend on them to guide you (still enjoy this one)
2. No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted (cliche but true)
3. Go for it. You never know what will happen next (I need to remind myself of this everyday – take chances)
***4. We all live under the same sky, but we don’t see the same light

We all see things differently, with different perspectives, different experiences, different emotions. It’s important to remember that, it’s so easy to forget.

Adele Again & Again


For everyone music means something different. Some listen casually to whatever is on the radio at the time, some only listen when out at a bar or club, others simply for motivation at the gym. For some, like myself, music is a part of who we are. A way of wrapping up our emotions in lyrical and melodic perfection. Playlists flooding the left toolbar of our iTunes; aptly named for a particular mood, season, and purpose. Despite the snow outside, which I choose to believe was a fluke, I’m taking Puxatawny Phil’s forecast to heart and creating next season’s playlist.

Longer Light & Warmer Nights

With the warmer weather approaching, I search for new songs to fill my ears, as the flowers peek through the patches of grass trying to survive in a city of cement. Some songs survive season to season, some are fluff fillers until a new upbeat filler is released, and some are refreshing releases reminding and reassuring me that soulful songwriters and singers still exist.

I enjoy a good beat just as much as the next person. With several playlists solely made up of songs to get you pumped, help you exercise and fill the air of a party with upbeat tunes.

But in a world of Bieber fever – Adele brings me to a place of peace. Her voice and lyrics are intense and for me all-encompassing; erasing the world around me – if only for 3 minutes and 48 seconds at a time.

In the beginning, with Hometown Glory, her bluesy voice hooked me, and continued to impress with next hits like Chasing Pavements and Make You Feel My Love. I was delighted to see her finally represented in an American Idol audition and singing the tribute to Lady Antebellum at the CMT’s Artists of the Year event. Only on her 2nd album, being released tomorrow February 22nd, 2011, I think she has a long career ahead of her and I’m excited to follow it.

Here are some examples of this season’s playlist & a new Adele song which hopefully you’ll enjoy as much as I do.

Longer Light & Warmer Nights
*Adele – Rolling In The Deep
*Amos Lee – Violin
*The Decemberists – This is Why We Fight
*Glee Cast – Sing
*Jared Lee – It’s Over
*NLX – Find Love
*Over the Rhine – Suitcase (a seasonal survivor)
*Rihanna & Eminem – Love the Way You Lie Pt. II
*Sara Bareilles – Hold My Heart
*State Radio – Keepsake
*Taylor Swift – You’re Not Sorry (CSI Remix)
*Train – Marry Me
*Usher – Somebody to Love

Do We All Suffer from Thassophobia – The Fear of Being Idle?


While standing on a train out to Long Island after work on Friday, there was my brother, me and 5 strangers standing in the little door area frustrated we couldn’t get there in time for a seat. After resigning to the fact that it’ll be a standing commute, one by one all the hands around me reach into their coat pockets, briefcases, and purses, searching for the one thing that can make this whole situation seem bearable.

Out come the blackberries and iPhones.

Some people probably responding to emails, some texting their ride letting them know when the train gets in, some just sifting through work emails and messages trying to pass the time, and some just playing brick breaker. Granted, I too now take out my blackberry, but in this instance, to write and observe all the trackballs being aimlessly pushed around until an amusement is found.

One woman even has a book she’s reading, with her blackberry open inside it. She’s not alone [or lonely], her husband is standing across from her, and they hold hands the whole ride. He too has his blackberry out. Why can’t they just talk? Or hold hands and enjoy the ride in peace? Do any of us really experience peace and quiet anymore?

It feels like we all suffer from thassophobia. The fear of being idle and bored. Why is it so difficult for us to handle the idle silence, the moments of nothingness that fill the spaces between our hectic lives. The train ride is a mere 28 minutes, an express, and it’s still light enough to see outside to the towns below us shutting down for the day; why can’t we just enjoy the world and watch as we travel by?

Why do we have this incessant need to look busy, important, needed, perhaps….loved? Or is it not a need, rather a disorder? Has technology simply created a generation of attention deficit men and women who can’t handle a second of idle time before frantically searching for a distraction?

Next time you’re at a bar, waiting on a friend, look around at who else is waiting with you. You’ll notice your hand is itching for the blackberry to be your friend, so that you don’t look so alone; just like everyone else waiting with you. I do it too, pointlessly texting someone, reading emails I’ve already read, fiddling on facebook…anything until whomever I’m waiting for arrives. Do we feel like losers because we’re at the bar by ourselves? Clearly, we’re waiting on someone. Are we scared of our idle minds running through the trials and tribulations of the day? Those are the thoughts good conversations are made of and you and your tardy friend can converse about over a glass of wine!

Next time, I’m going to try to sit at peace with my glass of wine, waiting without technology; just me, my mind and my surroundings. I challenge everyone to try it too. Good Luck!

I came across this video a while ago and I thought it was really amusing and sort of true – so here it is! Enjoy!

The Little Choice That’s OVER-Whelming


Remember when you were young and you were convinced being a grown up would be awesome? We’d sit like little hellions, plotting all the choices we could make all on our own without mom piping in with her opinions (which we now realize will never actually happen). Let’s get piercings! Let’s dye our hair! Let’s date the boys mom said no to! Choices seemed so fun, so limitless, so freeing…

It’s no wonder our mothers sat smugly smiling at our defiant shrieks while we hopelessly begged for independence.

Independence does come with choices. We can get piercings, although most of us aged out of that as soon as we were allowed to decide where to pierce. We can dye our hair, although most of us still send our mom dozens of pictures asking which will look best. And, well, boys are always going to be the ones mom said no to, until he’s the one she knows is right and you’ll say yes to.

Of all the choices and decisions I make as an independent adult and businesswoman, there is still one tiny decision which never ceases to leave me sweating and confused. Hopelessly wishing my mom was there to just decide for me!

eenie, meanie, minie, moe...

Yes. Toothbrush ‘shopping’. Doesn’t seem like shopping, but it is. Have you ever noticed that in many drugstores there are more choices for toothbrushes than there are shampoos? Probably not, since the oral care aisle (psht, oral care, who cares right?) is much more compact and hidden. Usually, it’s one of those side aisles, perpendicular to the long horizon of options to make your hair smoother and curlier. Filling the air with alluring smells, you can’t help but imagine wrapping the boys around your finger like in the commercials. Should be a harder decision if your seductiveness depends on it right? Wrong. Sure, there are a lot of options, curly, volumizing, color care…but it’s simple. We aren’t all created equal. I personally do not want volumizing shampoo. One whole category down. Then the options can usually be cut at least in 1/2 simply by your hair color! Once in a while I’ll smell a new one and decide if it passes the sniff test, but that’s as tricky as it gets. More often than not, I can see my big white bottle with maroon writing of Pantene Pro-V glistening and waiting for me to grab and evacuate the store as fast as humanly possible.

A toothbrush poses much more stress. Standing in front of the condensed jam-packed section, showcasing one of the most important products we should use everyday; my eyes literally dart from side to side, frantically searching for a medium bristle-compact toothbrush. Apparently, those no longer exist…or if they do, I panic and give up before ever finding them. There are ones with a tongue or cheek scraper. There’s some that vibrate but aren’t electric. There are regular or compact heads. Soft, medium and hard bristles. Some with cushioned handles, and some that are ghetto and straight out of the goody bag your dentist gives you after your cleaning. Then, of course (you know you do it too) I personally make the final decision based on the color, scanning the rows for a blue or purple toothbrush. I know which combination of brush for my teeth I’d prefer, why is finding it so difficult?

I feel like I’m stuck in a probability lesson figuring out all the possible combinations of toothbrushes there are in front of me. This is where we use that exclamation point formula right? AHH! I end up getting flustered and grabbing one that most closely resembles the one I currently have dying in my medicine cabinet and abandon ship.

I left with a large, medium bristle (point for me, bristle preference success!), tongue scraping, little thumb grip…pink toothbrush. Not at all what’s in my cabinet. Fail. I CLEARLY still need my mom to make this decision for me.

Better luck to you and your tooth-scapade!

Here’s a little song in honor of being young and growing up I’m newly in love with:
Young Blood – by The Naked and Famous

A glimpse to start


Welcome! It’s taken a lot of deliberating to figure out what exactly to base my blog on and how to kick it off. Flip flopping between one idea and another, between reviews and commentaries, or stories and anecdotes. The main concept is still being whittled down to a smoother, more identifiable creature, but it will undeniably be a collection of all things that help us learn to laugh.

To start, I thought I’d give a glimpse into the book I’m writing. It is not autobiographical, rather a mix of all my friend’s and my personalities, life experiences, and of course, the men who’ve starred in our girl’s night happy hour huddles. Still unfinished, still in its early stages, but here’s the beginning – welcome to the process.

As I see her pick up the scalpel looking nail tool, I wait for her to dig in there scraping away New York City, calloused cuticle and all bad ideas, trapped under the chitin protecting the sensitive skin of our fingers. She comes closer and oh, just skims the surface, barely cleaning anything at all. Why should I expect this time to be different? Scared of cutting too deep these little girls stay in the safe zone, is that the way we all want to live. Why can’t they dive in and clean it out, if it hurts a little that’s okay, it’s just a second of pain. Am I just masochistic that I long for the scraping of dead skin from under my purple nails? Or maybe I just want to erase everything of my life that may be negative, hiding in crevices and spaces, or do I simply like to feel clean?

Tilson (that’s me), Drew, June and Chloe. These are the main girls in our circle. There’s always peripheral friends who you love and hang out with, but aren’t the ones you run to in the middle of the night because your heart’s been broken. Or you call up to go out because you’re angry, and stressed and quite frankly just need to forget for a little while. They’re the friends who don’t judge you if you’re number of sexual partners…or the size of your waist are on the rise. They are the friends who run after your ex-boyfriends’ new girlfriends to tell them what an asshole he is, and possibly that he has some sort of sexually transmitted disease, when…clearly he doesn’t. They remember the days you don’t want to forget, and forget any days that you regret. In a city of superficial people, they are your girls. This is the story of the twenty some-things and our pains, loves, losses and adventures in the city that both satisfies and eats your soul. The city that isn’t too scared to scrape under your nails until they bleed but then paint them a pretty pink in complete duplicity and disguise. This is our lives.